Casson Family Holiday
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: the Cassons and Tom are going on holiday. unfortunately their usual chaos doesn't know how to take a holiday. drunk madness, hotel floodings, teasing, arguments and learning to swim
1. Chapter 1

"I have an announcement" Bill declared causing the whole family plus David to freeze and stare at him half-way through eating dinner. "I have booked a ten day holiday for the whole family including Caddy, Michael and Carlos"

"Oh, how wonderful Bill Darling!" Eve exclaimed.

"Wicked" Indigo agreed swallowing his mouthful of food.

"Where to?"

"Is it sunny?"

"Oh, Darling Daddy"

"Is David coming to?"

Bill looked slightly awkward. "I had invited David..." he said slowly. "But apparently his mother is already taking him on holiday"

"Family reunion" David shuddered, "Mum has now deemed me to have changed into a more responsible person that she can actually be proud off"

"I don't think you changed that much" Rose remarked.

"Rose!" everyone but Eve hissed.

"In fact apart from loosing some weight and gaining a bit of a backbone you're still the same old David"

David smiled. "Thank you Rose. I'll keep that in mind during the next family bitching about me"

"Oh David Darling, please do mind your language. Rose has only just turned twelve" Eve said.

"I'll be thirteen soon!" Rose growled.

Bill shuddered. It had been hard enough as it was to deal with Caddy as a teenager. She had been an emotional wreck. A constant rainy day with all her crying. Then Saffy became a teenager and caused thunder storms with her temper. Now it was nearing Rose's turn and with her temper already he could see tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis and twisters heading his way. It was going to be his toughest challenge and his worst nightmare all rolled into one.

"Anyway," he coughed gaining everyone's attention, "under some extraordinary circumstances I have invited Tom instead. He was supposed to be visiting us anyway and this way his grandmother doesn't have to worry about feeding him as well as the cats"

"Seriously?" Indigo blurted out.

"Yes," Bill nodded, "it's cheaper that way. Carlos' costs are minimum because he is a baby and we needed an even number of adults. Tom will be sharing with you Indigo, Saffy with Rose and the rest is obvious"

"Where are we going?" Saffy asked.

"A little Greek island with a lot of medieval history. It's called Rhodes"

"Roads?" Rose repeated. "We're going to be staying in a car?"

"Not _roads_, Rose, _Rhodes_. It's an island and we'll be staying in a good quality hotel with a swimming pool and easy access to the beach"

"I can't wait already. When are we going?" Saffy asked excitedly.

"Next week. Tom arrives on Sunday and we leave the Wednesday for an afternoon flight. Gives him some time to recover from his jet lag"

"We're going to need to buy Rose a new swimsuit" Caddy pointed out. "She outgrown her old one and has been using it as an excuse to avoid swimming"

"Traitor" Rose growled causing Caddy to smile innocently. Rose knew that one day Caddy would get her revenge on the whole telling Michael about Buttercup thing. She didn't realise that Caddy would be so evil...

"It's about time you learnt to swim anyway, Rose" Bill said sternly.

Deciding that this was a conversation she wanted to avoid, Rose pushed her plate to David and walked out of the room heading to her own bedroom.

Ignoring her father's shouts as usual.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

"Eve Darling" Bill said looking exasperated. "You can't just take a bag of paints and a swimsuit. You need evening wear and some day clothes at least. Please try to set a sensible example to our children"

"Oh, Bill Darling" Eve sighed flapping her hands, "I just don't know what to take or leave behind. I never stayed somewhere so hot and far away. Can't you pack for me, please darling, I just don't know what to do"

Bill tried to remain unnerved by Eve's wide almost tearful blue eyes. But unfortunately Rose had inherited and perfected this particular look a long time ago and Bill could never say no to it for long. He sighed a long, slow, suffering sigh before giving her his best smile. "Of course Eve dear. I'll start after I check on the others why don't you relax with a nice Diet Coke and catch up with Tom?"

"That would be lovely, lovely, lovely..." Bill watched slightly amused as Eve continued to hum the word under her breath as she headed down to the kitchen.

Truthfully he didn't mind packing for Eve. It meant he could chose her clothes for her and though her style is very casual hippy, she did have some beautiful skirts and blouses that he loved seeing her in.

A brief check in with the others assured Bill that Saffy was well packed, if a little too much luggage and Indigo was sorted as well. Rose however was too busy glaring at her new swimsuit. A simple black takini with pale pink lining. Like her glasses, everyone was waiting for her to hide it and never take it out.

"Pack it" he said.

Glaring at him, she huffily stuffed the swimsuit into her suitcase along with a few skirts and shorts, t-shirts, a nightie and some wash stuff. "Done" she said slamming the suitcase shut.

"Suntan lotion? Hairbrush? Toothbrush? Towel? A book to read?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes" Rose said rolling her eyes. "Daddy, is this going to be like going to New York?"

"No Rosie Pose. Rhodes is much closer to England, only a four hour plane ride and it's much, much hotter and sunnier"

"Do I really have to swim?"

"Yes. I don't want you to drown if a boat sank"

"I won't be on a boat" Rose grumbled before running off down the stairs where Tom was now playing his guitar loudly.

The phone rang and there was a moment of silence before Saffy shouted up the stairs, "Bill! Caddy doesn't know whether she needs to pack a cot for Buttercup or not!"

Bill rubbed his temples. This was going to be a long couple days and that's just for packing.

God have mercy on him.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Eve forgot to lock the doors – both back and front - , left the bathroom window open, the lamp in her shed on and forgot her purse. This had made it difficult to even leave the house let alone get to the airport. Upon arriving Manchester Airport, they were delayed as they waited for the equally scattered brained Caddy to arrive with Michael. The check-in took forever as they were stuck in the back of the queue and Bill ended up threatening to confiscate Tom's guitar to get him, Indigo, Saffy and Rose to behave.

Security went smoothly until Bill's own belt had set the alarms off and he was forced to be scanned by security guards.

Then Eve lost her passport which turned out to be in Buttercup's mouth. "I'm so sorry Mum, he's taken to just putting _anything_ in his mouth. It's most distressing when it's something sharp and pointy"

And then when Bill was looking for the departure gate, they lost Rose. When they finally hunted her down it was time to board the plane. Bill kept a firm hand wrapped round Rose's wrist and Eve's hand so neither would get lost. He would have to rely on Michael to keep Caddy safe which unnerved him because he never really got on well with Michael and never really trusted the man.

By the time they were strapped in Bill gave a deep sigh of relief as England faded out into a small spot of land and they were in the sky.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time the plane had landed Rose, Eve and Indigo were fast asleep. Bill managed to rouse Eve though she kept murmuring and bumping into things if no one led her away. Rose was easily carried but Indigo was a struggle to wake up. No matter how hard Saffy hit him or Tom yelled in his ear, he wouldn't even stir.

"Don't worry. He'll still be under the influence of the sleeping pills" Bill said shifting Rose in his arms. "You're going to have to drag him out"

"Why on earth is he on sleeping pills?" Saffy asked looking incredulous.

"Because he panics when he's too high. It was the best way to calm him down Saffy Darling, so help Tom get him out of the plane"

"Here, I'll carry him on my back if you take this rucksack" Michael said handing a large bag to Saffy. He then (after a lot of awkward movements and muttered apologies to the other passengers) hoisted Indigo onto his back and walked slowly down the stairs into the crowded bus that would take them into the actual airport.

When waiting for their luggage, Michael left Indigo with Caddy, Saffy, Rose and Buttercup while helping Bill, Eve and Tom find their suitcases. Unfortunately Eve kept picking up the wrong suitcase and Bill had to keep apologising for her as she wandered round in a daze.

"Really sorry, she's just not with it, jet lag and exhaustion from before getting on the plane"

By the time they got back Rose was awake enough to carry a suitcase while Indigo was still out of it. It took a while for Bill to find the right coach and as soon as they sat down Tom had two Casson's sleeping on either shoulder. Rose and Indigo, Saffy gave him a smirk that said something like _your fault for befriending them. _He would have shrugged back at her but it would have woken Rose up at least. Instead he ignored Saffy and wrapped each arm round the younger Casson siblings.

Something he'll deny when they're awake.

From what Tom could tell about the hotel (since it was very dark now) was it was big, had two swimming pools, a pool bar that was still open and quite a few cats slinking around.

Just as long as he wasn't expected to look after them he was all right with cats.

"Is this it?" Rose grumbled. "It looks so dull and plain"

"Greeks don't have extravagant buildings because they concentrate on building light airy places to keep cool, Rose" Bill said as patiently as he could.

"Too right. It's boiling; I thought it was supposed to be cool in the dark"

"No that's Egypt Rosie Pose"

After a few minutes of waiting (Michael getting impatient as Indigo seemed to get heavier and heavier each second) Bill came back with the keys to their rooms. "Right then, Michael, Caddy and Buttercup are in room 22, on the floor above us. There is a cot in there, don't worry. Tom and Indy in room 25 opposite them, Saffy and Rose in room 23 which is right next door to 25 and Eve and I are in room 15 on this floor. We'll meet at nine for breakfast and there's a rep meeting at three. All have a good night sleep darlings, be good Rose and don't trouble Saffy. Thank you Michael for looking after Indigo, help him to his room, that's a good lad. Thank you Tom this one is Indigo's"

Ushered to their rooms, exhausted and travel worn, most of the Cassons fell on their beds and went to sleep without changing their clothes.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Indigo woke up to the sun burning his eyes. Groaning he rolled over to find Tom fast asleep on the bed next to him. The room was white with tiled floor and a few decorative pictures in frames. Apart from the two beds there was a vanity table with mirror and bench, a table with two chairs and a wardrobe. All cheap wood and simple design. Their suitcases and Tom's guitar case laid on the floor taking up most of the room.

So this was Rhodes, huh? Not very posh looking like the hotels in England. Then again it's so hot and suffocating that they probably just care about the necessities.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, Indigo came back to find Tom wide awake on the balcony. "Morning Sleeping Beauty. We thought you'd never wake up" Tom said with a light grin.

"Wide awake now" Indigo said turning his mobile on to find Sarah's text and quickly replying.

"Indy, you're on holiday! You're not supposed to be stuck to your mobile texting. David and Sarah can survive a week without you"

Indigo shook his head. "I promised Sarah, I'll text once a day"

Tom made a whipping motion with sound effects. He then picked up his guitar and began to play a tune. "Sarah and Indy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, second comes marriage and third comes a baby in a golden carriage (because nothing else would please Sarah). Then Sarah and Indy sit on a log, doing nothing but snog, snog, snog. Then they find a tree, to make a baby one, two, three"

Indigo ran back to the room and grabbed hold of a pillow which he then threw at Tom's face. His aim was off and it landed on the floor next to Tom's feet instead. Tom threw his head back and laughed.

"That," he said between laughs, "was pathetic"

"What are you laughing at?"

Both Indigo and Tom jumped at Rose's voice. The girl, herself, was standing on the balcony next to them with a towel over her shoulders.

"Rosie Pose! You almost gave me a heart attack" Tom said clutching his chest dramatically.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Dad says put your swimming suits on. We're going swimming after breakfast"

"Are you going to swim?"

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Come on, Permanent Rose, come swimming with us and I'll buy you an ice cream"

"No"

Indigo left Tom attempting to persuade Rose into swimming as he went to get his trunks. It seemed a waste of time trying to get Rose to even put a toe in a swimming pool but either Tom or this heat will convince her otherwise.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

The swimming pool was a beautiful blue. Turquoise but a deeper shade and the sun hit it just right and made it shimmer. Eve wished she had her paint right now just to capture this colour in a painting. Rose was curled up in a sun bed next to her with a book of all things, Saffy and Caddy were sunbathing and Michael was playing with Buttercup in the baby pool. In the actual swimming pool Bill was doing laps and Indigo and Tom kept dunking one another.

It was such a lovely, lovely idea of Bill's. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves already.

"Come on Rose! The water is great" Tom called out.

"No way" Rose said not even looking up from her book.

Tom climbed out of the pool and sat on the floor beside Rose's sun bed. "What are you reading?" he asked.

"Avalon High. It's supposed to be about King Arthur but it's really just some teenager girl who doesn't even believe in reincarnation which is a bit stupid since that's the plot. The Lancelot in this is barely there and not really a nice person like he's supposed to be"

"Why don't you put it down and I'll teach you how to swim"

"No thanks"

"You got to learn soon, Rosie Pose. We'll all be devastated if you drowned"

"I don't intend to go in any water"

"What if a boat sank?"

"I won't be on it"

Tom laughed and Rose closed her book and placed it on the table between herself and Eve. "I might put my feet in later or play with Buttercup in the baby pool but that's it"

"Right then, I'll just use force"

"Wha-? Tom! Let me go! Don't! No! No! Let me go!"

Eve watched bemused as Tom carried Rose over his shoulder as he walked towards the swimming pool. She was kicking and punching him as well as screaming but he merely grinned and saluted Eve before jumping in.

Creating a large splash that splattered Saffy.


	3. Chapter 3

For a moment she saw nothing but white and blue. Liquid shot up into her nose and mouth and she felt a buzz in her ears and then suddenly there was a bright blinding light and she could breathe again. Choking and coughing, she smacked Tom hard.

"You prat!" she shrieked. She smacked him again and again and again, Tom kept trying to avoid her but it was hard with his arms still holding her to him.

"Rose!" he whined. "Stop it!"

"No!" she glared up at him. "I don't want to swim!"

Tom gave her a grin and Rose was sure almost drowning did something to her heart. It was beating too fast. "Come on Rosie Pose, you need to learn to swim and I swear I won't let you drown."

"Hmph!" Rose huffed suddenly finding a bush behind Tom far more interesting.

"You'll just lie on your back and learn to float, nice and easy, I won't let you go, I promise," Tom said pleadingly.

Rose let out a small growl. "Fine!" she huffed.

Out by the pool Indigo was passing a pound coin to a very smug Saffy. This caused Bill (who only just came out of the swimming pool) to start a lecture on gambling while Tom instructed Rose on keeping herself straight but relaxed.

Rose squirmed slightly; she found it hard to relax with the arms under her back and legs. It felt...not wrong but not comfortable either. Very hot, it made her feel hot and bothered. Tom bent down and whispered in her ear, "relax" and her cheeks heated up even more.

This wasn't fair, weren't swimming pools supposed to cool you down not heat you up?

It took a while but it worked, she was floating like how Tom said she should and the heat died down to a more comforting warmth. She wondered if this is how Lady of Shallot, Lancelot's friend felt when she was floating in that river. She closed her eyes and gave in completely to the relaxing feeling of water brushing against her skin.

And then suddenly she banged her head against something hard and Tom's arms were gone. She struggled to stay up on top of the water causing a lot of splashing.

Tom laughed and once Rose managed to stand on the ground she smacked him before rushing out of the swimming pool. She threw herself onto the sun bed and crossed her arms as she glared at Tom.

"Oh, come on Rose! I was just giving you a chance to float on your own" Tom called out as he swam towards her. She looked away. "Permanent Rose, please, I was only doing what anyone else would."

"If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you?" she hissed.

Tom laughed and so did Michael and Saffy. Eve and Indigo were struggling to hide their amusement. This only caused Rose to deepen her glare and she dreamed up deadly deaths for Tom that included sharks.

"Please, I'll show you how to kick and move your arms properly so it won't happen again, come on Permanent Rose."

She caught his eyes which were pleading her. Looking all wide and innocent and hurt...like a kicked puppy...

Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!

She hated Tom. She really did.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPR

It was almost four when Bill left the bar to find a shocking sight of Rose swimming on her own. From the corner of his eye he could see Eve happily receiving money from Michael and groaned. "Eve Darling, how am I supposed to teach Saffy and Indigo how wrong it is to gamble if you do it yourself? It's not setting a good example."

"Oh darling, it's not serious gambling just a light bet. As long as you don't bet out of your budget and on something silly it's good fun," Eve said. "Michael Darling, when do you think our Rose and Tom end up married?"

Bill, who just took a sip of his wine – it may be early but he was on holiday and deserved to enjoy himself a little -, choked. "M-Married? Eve, she's just a little girl!"

"And already in love," Caddy said dreamily. Bill blamed the cocktails she'd been drinking all afternoon.

"If he doesn't hurt her I could live with that," Michael said looking thoughtful, "they won't get married. I bet they won't even confess how they feel until Rose is in her twenties."

"What makes you say that?" Bill asked curiously.

He may not like the idea of his little girl being in love but even he knew that there'd be no one but Tom for Rose. It was a fact he had a few years adjusting himself for though he hoped Rose would meet other people first and enjoys her youth when she still can.

"They're both stubborn," was Michael's very truthful reply.

Bill sighed. "Rose, get out of the pool so I can speak to you all together" he called causing Saffy, Indigo and Tom to look up with interest. Once Rose was out of the pool and dripping all over Bill's brand new sandals (he was trying hard not to step away, they were designer leather), Bill began to speak. "I booked us several trips for the holiday, one being a trip to the capital known as Rhodes Town. There we'll be doing our shopping for souvenirs and learning about the knights that were in charge," Bill couldn't help but notice with pride that Rose's eyes were sparkling with excitement at the idea of some knights. "We'll also go to a water theme park and be taking a boat trip."

Saffy's eyes lit up with the idea of shopping while both Indigo and Tom seemed unbothered. Rose, however, looked a little horrified. "A boat?" she said. "Urgh!"

"Good thing I taught you to swim, isn't it Rosie Pose?" Tom said.

"Shut up!"

"Rose," Bill growled. Rose looked at him without shame; he sighed and decided to let Rose's rudeness go this one time. Best to save his strength for the bigger battles, like swearing. "I think we should all head back for a shower and a little nap."

"What? We're not all Buttercups' age!" Tom cried out.

"It's called a siesta, dimbat," Saffy said rolling her eyes, "you take a nap in the afternoon so you can avoid the heat and sun at its highest so we'll be well rested for all the parties at night."

"Yes but we just spent all morning sleeping," Tom said unable to see the point of sleeping even more.

"Well take it as an opportunity to play with your guitar, I, however will enjoy it because I have no doubt we'll end up staying late tonight."

"Yeah right, the chances of Rose falling asleep this afternoon is about the same as Indy taking sky diving up as a new hobby," Tom muttered.

Sadly he was right.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Rose's hands were multi-coloured. A mix of pale and rich colours was smeared on her hands making them look grubby in Bill's standards. Not that he noticed he was walking ahead in full holiday mode, Eve drifting beside him her hand in his.

"Have you been drawing?" Michael asked, shifting Buttercup in his arms. Rose nodded and smiled innocently. No one was fooled. "You were drawing on the hotel walls, weren't you?"

"They can't complain it's gorgeous. She's just done a full view of the beach on the wall this afternoon; only an outline and a bit rough right now but by the time we leave it'll be a Rose Casson masterpiece. They should be grateful for getting free artwork done," Saffy said, knowing full well that if she had the skill she would be doing the same rebellion on the plain white walls. However that didn't stop her from being a little annoyed. "I wish you just did it when I wasn't trying to sleep."

Rose shrugged.

"Just don't tell Bill," Michael said tiredly, hoping Bill wouldn't find any reason to go into Rose's bedroom for the next week. It was supposed to be a holiday and Bill having a heart attack over graffiti wasn't very holiday-ish. "We'll never hear the end of it."

Saffy, Indigo and Tom had difficulty smothering their laughter while Rose walked on oblivious to them.

Eventually Bill settled for a very posh looking restaurant that had Indigo and Tom wrinkling their nose in disgust, Michael looking nervously at the menu and Eve, Saffy and Caddy admiring the table cloths.

"Table for seven and a highchair?" a waitress asked, appearing out of thin air to serve them.

"No eight and a highchair," Bill corrected her.

"Oh, you're waiting for someone are you, sir?"

Everyone turned to look at each other. Saffy, Michael and Indigo looked like they had headaches; Caddy and Eve paled and began to get worried while Tom's eyes lit up in glee. Bill went bright red.

"ROSE!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I have discovered on my own holiday in Rhodes last summer (where the Cassons did go, since I brought all five books with me) that the nice posh looking restaurants had the most horrible food. I'm not kidding, the frozen cheap meals I live on now tasted better than that. So I inflicted the pain on the Cassons' taste buds knowing Bill's desire to have a posh image. I dedicate this chapter to this pain in the arse who has always been a pain in the arse since I can remember and since I moved away I have missed this pain in the arse. Happy Birthday, my pain in the arse little sister – Rach**

Rose had found a new passion in Rhodes.

It was called spray paint. A man sat on the curb surrounded in beautiful bright and vibrant pictures with a life that she could never capture. He was doing a painting at that moment, spraying paint and rubbing it into the canvas, using a brush to create shapes, to create a masterpiece.

Now this was real art. Not like stupid Daddy's art.

It was much better and far easier to use than normal paint. Especially if she was to use the walls as her canvas, although it didn't capture the finer details like her pastels or chalk would.

No one noticed that she had stopped walking nor did they notice her approach the man and they most definitely didn't hear her ask him how he did it or hear him allow her to work alongside him.

By the time Bill Casson had found her the spray paint artist had become sulky as the little English girl got more attention and admiration in the past five minutes than he had in five years.

"Look Daddy!" Rose said holding her painting up.

"It's not exactly art, is it?" Bill frowned causing both the artist and Rose to scowl. Although the artist didn't exactly understand what Bill had said, he did understand the tone and it reminded him very much of his father who had little patience for art. He took one look at Bill's pin-neat obviously brand-new designer summer wear and saw a repressive father. He suddenly lost all resentment he had for Rose two minutes ago. "Now, come along Rose. The others are hungry and it's rude of you to make them wait."

As Bill dragged Rose down the street towards the restaurant, the artist muttered many unpleasant things about Bill Casson in his native language.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Everyone but Bill picked at their food.

The restaurant looked posh, with its clean white lacy table cloths thrown over an under sheet of pale pink, matching napkins, beautifully crafted silver and a wineglass on the table already. There were candles waiting to be lit and soft Greek music being played in the background as they were served by smartly dressed waiters.

But the food was terrible. Cheap, tacky, Indigo-can-so-cook-better-stuff-out-of-tins. Caddy had taken to just gulping alcoholic drinks instead of eating while Eve found looking outside more interesting than the Greek meal placed in front of her, Indigo grimaced at each bite and Saffy wrinkled her nose in disgust before out-right refusing to eat. Michael, Tom and Rose attempted to eat the meal but started to dream of the McDonalds they had seen down the road.

"Eat up!" Bill hissed. "It's a waste of food just leaving it there; do you know how many people go hungry every day in Africa? Consider yourself lucky to be sitting here having a wonderful meal."

"Dad, McDonalds can do better than this and their food is made out of fat," Indigo said very calmly.

"Nonsense. This is a proper restaurant, with decently cooked food with healthy vegetables-"

"That's obviously out of a tin and been over-boiled," Indigo finished critically. "Even Mum can cook better than this."

The other Cassons nodded remembering Eve's delightful bangers and mash or her banana and chocolate pudding. Eve might be absent-minded when it came to food but when she was forced to put her mind to it; she really did a good job. It was obvious where Indigo got his talent from.

"Hmmm?" Eve hummed absently, looking at Indigo briefly before going back to the window. Bill spluttered, half indignant that his taste was being questioned and half nervous as he tried to find the right argument without insulting his wife and children. "Oh, Bill Darling, lovely restaurant, not so lovely food, let's take a walk on the beach instead, shall we?" Eve mused; defusing the situation without realising there was one.

Caddy, just out of the sheer pleasure of having a drink, took another shot.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Michael let out a low whistle as he admired the rough drawing on Saffy's and Rose's wall. "You should make a business out of this," he said turning to the two girls gorging on McDonald food. He had snuck back out with Tom and Indy earlier to buy something decent to eat. Bill was having an enjoyable evening playing Grandpa to Buttercup while Michael was supposedly spend the night having fun with his young wife.

Who was down in the bar getting drunk. He wondered what it was about going on holiday that induced Caddy into drinking so much. Probably going on holiday with her father. Bill has already made one messed-up daughter, another emotionally messed up, highly temperamental daughter, and (according to Tom) an emo son. Not to mention that his wife preferred a shed over him.

Next year, Michael will just go on holiday with Caddy and Rose only. Rose would be old enough to babysit when he takes Caddy out and be an actual couple and not a family unit.

"I don't think I want a business in drawing," Rose said sucking the salt of her fries. "It would make it a chore instead of art and then I'll turn into Daddy and no one wants that."

"Heaven forbid, another Bill would destroy the chaotic balance of the Casson family," Saffy said dryly. "Eat your chips, Rose, don't suck them. What are you, three?"

Rose stuck her tongue out.

"Very mature, definitely another Bill in the making," Saffy said sarcastically.

"Stop corrupting my Permanent Rose with your sensibility!" Tom said from the balcony where he was lounging with Indigo and strumming quietly on his guitar. "She doesn't need to be mature or sensible or normal. Let her run free and be a true wild child like me."

"I wonder if Bill ever thought of chastity belts," Michael muttered to himself.

"Too late if he did, thanks to you," Saffy said overhearing Michael and determined to squash that thought out of his head. If they insist on making Rose chaste (rightly so since she was barely twelve) then they'll attempt to make Saffy chaste and Saffy's sex life is already dead as it is, she doesn't need her family to make it even deader.

Michael sighed, "I'll leave you kids to it, then. Remember go to bed early-ish. Bill wants to get a good spot on the beach."

Rose's eyes lit up with excitement. "We can make sandcastles!"

"Brilliant idea, Permanent Rose. We can make one like Camelot, I can be Lancelot, Saffy can be Guinevere and you can be the enchantress Morgana Le Fay."

"What am I? The Court Jester?" Indigo said looking highly amused.

"No," Michael breathed as he left the room, "I believe that'll be me."


	5. Chapter 5

The beach was marvellous.

It was all clean yellow sand and turquoise sea with a bright clear blue sky meeting the edge of it. Far nicer than the British beaches that was for sure. Bill had dragged the whole family out before nine in the morning, the children all hid underneath their towels on the deckchairs trying to catch up on their sleep. Indigo almost bit Bill's hand off when he tried to drag him out from beneath his towel to have father and son bonding time. Saffy gave Bill the darkest look, Rose hadn't even woken up and had been practically carried down and Caddy was moaning and groaning about her hangover. There was no way Bill was going to ask for some male bonding time with Tom Levin and Michael was busy with Buttercup who was fidgeting under Michael's attempts to apply sun tan lotion on him and last but not least, Eve had promptly fallen into la-la land once she sat down.

So now he was swimming on his own in the sea while the whole family hogged the deck chairs. After a couple hours of his family hogging the deck chairs and embarrassing him with their snoring (to be fair only Rose snores and Caddy snores when she has been drinking, so it was just them two) they had begun to woke up and actually enjoy themselves.

Rose and Tom set out to make sandcastles with Buttercup, Indigo and Saffy started to swim and Eve got out her sketch book. "What are you drawing Eve Darling?" Bill asked finally able to sit down, relax and read his new novel he brought for this holiday specifically.

"Oh, this and that. I'm going to do many paintings on our holiday and sell them so we have enough money for next holiday."

Bill smiled at the thought of going on another holiday. So far it has been rather pleasant and the only chaotic event had been Rose getting lost and talking to strangers. "It's not exactly art though, is it darling?" Bill said reverting back to his usual self.

Caddy groaned. "You're a bastard," she muttered darkly. Both Bill and Eve ignored her though, they learnt long ago when Caddy had been especially naughty and did some underage drinking that she was a very moody hung-over person and would apologise for her rudeness after she got over the headache.

"Everything is art, darling," Eve replied cheerfully.

They sat there in silent bliss with the murmuring of Tom and Rose discussing Arthurian legends as they made their sand castles creating a pleasant buzz. Bill had become completely relaxed when the bliss was broken by a shout from Michael.

"NO! I said no eating the sand Buttercup!"

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

The hours flew by quickly. Tom and Rose's shoddy grand sand work was a sight to see before Buttercup rolled on it and destroyed it. The toddler was quickly becoming the most dirtiest creature Bill has seen since Rose. Tom had scooped up the toddler and proclaimed him the Monster of Rhodes before taking him to the sea under Michael's watchful eye (Bill actually hoped that Michael will never have daughters because the poor girls will never be let out of the house). Saffy spent half of it lounging on the deck chair sunbathing and reading a book in Spanish and the other half swimming. Indigo was following a similar path only his book was in English and Rose conned Michael into playing in the sea with her as Caddy continued to sleep.

After lunch and ice creams they all (but Caddy who was now sitting up groggy with sleep and holding onto Buttercup) played a game with a beach ball that had no rules and no one was sure who had actually won.

It was Tom who first noticed. "Rose!" he cried out gleefully. "You're rosy pink!"

Rose gasped and turned to look at the hotel's window. She did in fact look very pink and girly. She shuddered a little. "Didn't you use any suntan lotion?" Saffy asked irritably.

"What's suntan lotion?" Rose asked.

Indigo sighed and Saffy's eyebrow twitched as Tom burst out laughing. "It's to protect your skin from the sun! You're now sunburnt and trust me it's going to be painful in the shower and lying down in bed," Saffy said, "it is entirely your fault so I don't want you to go crying to me tonight."

"It's not my fault!" Rose huffed. "Daddy has gone red to! So it's his fault since he's the parent!"

They all turned to see Bill look comically bright lobster red in his bright blue shirt. "Oh Bill Darling!" Eve cried out. "Why didn't you apply suntan lotion you know that you, Indy and Rose all have very sensitive skin."

"I forgot," Bill muttered looking a little sheepish.

The whole family stared at him in disbelieve even Buttercup who didn't entirely understand what was going on but knew his Grandpa was the most organised person in the world blinked at Bill.

"Out of you and Eve, I thought it would be Eve to forget her suntan lotion," Saffy said trying to hide her amusement. She already got her phone out and was texting this to Sarah.

"Oh Darling," Eve said cheerfully, "I maybe an old hippy who lives in a shed but even I take very good care of my skin."

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

The loving couple that were holidaying in room 13 next to Bill and Eve Casson did not like Bill and Eve Casson. They had found Bill to be hypocritical and Eve to be rather uncaring about anything. The couple were only their second holiday has a married couple and were still in that newly wedded stage where they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

To have Bill grumbling and grousing about how ungrateful the children were to not like the restaurant was very off putting to their more pleasurable bedroom life. To have to hear Bill and Eve doing the marriage business in bed was bad enough (Eve was a screamer, they had been woken up to screams of 'Oh Bill Darling!') but to have Bill making complaints of their own bedroom business was enough to make Mr Loving Couple punch him.

This following evening the loving couple were forced to hear Bill moaning and complaining about his sunburn. They were secretly gleeful as Eve told him it was all his own fault and continued to apply after sun without gentle care. Once they had managed to block out the most annoying sounds they took their own nap only to be woken up by annoying dripping sounds. Mrs Loving Couple frowned as drips of water landed on her forehead.

"Bloody hell!" Mr Loving Couple yelled as he jumped out of bed.

The ceiling was dripping and obviously room 23 was flooding up above him.

**Author's Note: I was four years old when I learnt a valuable lesson – baby + sand = baby eats sand. It's inevitable. **


	6. Chapter 6

Indigo opened the door to find a furious red face (and red body) Bill holding Rose by the scuff of her t-shirt. Saffy was hovering beside him with a scowl that matched Rose's; she was carrying both suitcases and luggage bags.

Indigo sighed heavily. "Do I want to know?"

"No, not really," Saffy said.

"This child," Bill spat out, "flooded her hotel room and because there is no longer any other rooms to spare she is to sleep with you."

Tom laughed catching onto something that neither Rose nor Bill did. "Shut up, Tom!" Saffy and Indigo said.

"The staff will be bringing in spare beds for the girls, make sure your sister throws the toilet paper in the bin and not the toilet."

"That's revolting, at home we throw it in the loo," Rose grumbled.

"Rose, the pipes here are too small and the toilet paper clogs up the plumbing. And knowing how much paper you use you probably clogged up the entire Rhodes plumbing!" Bill shouted.

"At least I'm clean, unlike some people!" Rose snapped.

"Speaking of clean, don't you dare peek at me while I'm showering!" Saffy hissed at Tom. "I'll hack you into tiny pieces if you try."

"No you won't Saffy," Bill said a little calmer, "I will."

"Eh, Saffy doesn't float my boat. I mean she's hot and everything but not my type," Tom shrugged.

"What is your type?" Rose asked curiously.

"Fair skinned, dark haired, if you know what I mean," Tom said winking.

Indigo and Saffy did. They glanced at each other and nodded the agreement that they'll murder Tom in his sleep if he tries anything. Rose didn't, she was thinking about some pretty girl in America Tom must like. Bill definitely didn't, he looked at his pale, dark haired son and they thought there would be a day when he'll have to defend his son's virtue.

Rose sighed and decided to change the topic so she won't have to think about pretty Americans. "The walls are just as boring here," she commented.

Bill glared at her. "You are not drawing on the walls here as well! I'm already paying fines for the flooding and scribbling in your own room. I won't pay for you to vandalise this room to!" Bill knew his youngest well, it didn't matter how many times he banned her from painting on the walls and painting over her work, she'll do it anyway. "I'll be confiscating your art supplies until we're on the plane home," he declared.

Saffy, Indigo and Tom felt no sympathy for Bill when he got kicked and sweared at by Rose. It's his fault for trying to repress the artist in her. "That's it!" Bill roared. "You're staying in here for the night with no dinner!"

Rose sulked as the hotel staff wheeled in camp beds for the girls and sulked even more when Bill dragged Saffy and the boys out for dinner, leaving her with nothing to do. Rose had sat there scowling at the blank white wall plotting evil things against Bill for almost an hour before there was a knock.

"Room service!"

Rose ran to open it to find Michael grinning. In one hand he was holding a KFC bag and in another a sketch book and some colouring pencils. "I know it's not much but it's the best I can do for now," Michael said.

"Oh, Michael!" Rose cried out, hugging him. "You're ever so lovely!"

"Just don't tell Bill, he thinks I've come back to find my wallet."

"I won't!" Rose said opening a box of fried chicken and shoving one in her mouth before offering the box to Michael.

He shook his head. "No thanks, Saffy picked a nice bar and the food looks good there" he said. "Enjoy, hide the evidence and be good!"

Rose enjoyed her chicken and chips and coke, she then enjoyed drawing a few pictures after she threw her rubbish over the balcony, she watched as all of the local kittens and cats came out to chew the bones and drew them all. She soon fell asleep out on the balcony feeling rather good.

The next morning she woke up to find herself tucked into her little camp bed, Saffy, Indigo and Tom fast asleep in their own beds and some food wrapped up in napkin bundles for her.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

"Good morn- OH MY GOD, THAT'S HIDEOUS!"

Buttercup burst into tears and Michael glared at Saffy. "He has cried three times this morning, first when Caddy screamed and the second and third time when he saw his own reflection. You can now comfort him each time he bursts into tears."

Tom picked up Buttercup before Saffy got near him and bounced him lightly up and down. "Hey kid, don't worry. We all got through a spotty stage but we end up looking all right like Indy, though you may have what it takes to look gorgeous as me."

"You're so vain," Indigo said helping himself to toast, "and you know that song was about you."

Tom grinned as he hummed the song to Buttercup, calming the toddler down before setting him back in Michael's arms. "I have you know that song was written long before I was born."

"Vainness must run in the family then," Saffy said sipping her coffee and sighing with bliss. Sharing a room with Rose was one thing but sharing a room with Tom and Rose was a nightmare. The pair of them were like two hyper three year olds. How Indigo can remain so calm, Saffy will never know.

"Just like insanity runs in yours," Tom said cheerfully. "How does it feel to be married into insanity, Michael?"

"You tell me in ten years time," Michael said.

"Why wait? Both me and Saffy are over sixteen, this could be our h-"

"I'd rather marry David than you, and trust me that is saying something," Saffy said coolly.

"Ick, how can anyone prefer David over Tom?" Rose asked.

"Rose!" Indigo scolded.

Bill and Eve came downstairs, hand in hand causing a little gagging amongst the younger Casson siblings. "Good God!" Bill cried out. "What on earth is that monster?"

Buttercup began to cry again.

"Thanks Bill," Michael growled.

"But his face and arms!"

"Mosquito bites! His baby skin is more attractive to those evil little flies and now the poor thing can't stop crying. He's in agony and terrified of his own reflection, can you try to be a little more sensitive, you arsehole!"

"Well I never!"

"Oh Michael Darling! Must you call Daddy such rude names? He can't help being narrow-minded," Caddy said cheerfully as she entered the breakfast room with a carrier bag. "Now, now Buttercup – I really must stop calling him that! – Mummy is here with some special cream to take away the itch and make you all better. Who's my handsome boy?"

"Caddy seems more cheerful today," Tom noted.

"She's not hung-over today," Saffy observed, "instead she's drunk."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: warning slight angst **

After the disastrous breakfast the Casson Family spent the day beside the pool as Tom helped Rose practise her swimming, the girls worked on their tans, Indigo pretended not to know any of them, Bill moaned and Michael played and cheered Buttercup up. They went out to a restaurant on the beach and enjoyed the view before Bill announced they had to be up early in the morning tomorrow and the two days after.

"You're just trying to ruin my beauty sleep, aren't you?" Saffy said. "I'll come home from this holiday looking like a giant sleepy wax."

"I think you're more likely to come home looking like a giant blob of suntan lotion," Tom snickered. "Ow! Indy your sister is bullying me."

"Take it like a man," Saffy said.

"I'm not getting involved," Indigo said not looking up from his menu.

"Why couldn't all of my children be like Indigo?" Bill murmured.

"What was that Daddy?" Rose asked sweetly.

"Nothing darling, nothing at all."

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

The next morning after being shouted at, kicked, bitten, and smacked Bill managed to drag everyone out of bed in time to get on the coach. Bill glared at his embarrassing family who all immediately fell back to sleep during the safety lecture on the coach. However, the journey did go quicker with the entire Casson family and Tom too busy sleeping to cause chaos. It was when Rose woke up and squealed excitedly that Bill knew trouble was going to come.

"A water theme park! Look Indy, we're at a water theme park!" Rose said shaking her older brother.

"Yay!" Indigo murmured, still half asleep.

"Glad I taught you to swim, now Rosie Pose?" Tom asked.

"Yes! Oh I can't wait to go on all the rides!"

They trotted out and waited impatiently for Bill to get hold of special wristbands that would allow them to wander round the park freely. Once they got them round their wrists, Bill began to lecture them. "Don't go off spending money we don't have in the shops on these. Talk to me about it first and I'll decide if a drink or ice cream is necessary. Stay clear of any dangerous rides and for god sake stick together!"

He turned to see that only Eve was there and she wasn't even listening.

"I honestly don't know why I try," Bill said.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Indigo, Tom and Rose did stick together. They first took a swim in a pool before going on a few slides and a water obstacle course that Indigo just failed miserably.

"You'd think after all that rock climbing you did you'd have actual upper body strength," Tom sniggered. "I suppose Sarah will have to be the strong one as well as the one in the trousers."

"Shut up!" Indigo said splashing Tom.

"You're just jealous of my strength and manliness," Tom sniffed.

"What strength and manliness?" Rose asked causing Indigo to burst out laughing.

"Permanent Rose, your words hurt me in the heart!" Tom said clutching his heart dramatically because pretending to faint. "How could you betray me, so?"

Rose splashed him with some water causing a Casson Vs Tom water fight that got them kicked out of the pool. They then rushed off to the larger water rides grabbing a rubber ring to sit on, they barely got near the queue when one of the attendants stopped them.

"I'm very sorry little girl but you're far too small for this ride," the attendant said politely.

"Excuse me?" Rose glared at the attendant.

The attendant was a little taken back at the fierceness of Rose. He wondered silently if he had made a mistake and she was an adult woman with a growth problem because no little girl would glare like that. "I'm sorry but you can't go on the ride," he said trembling just a little.

"Would she be all right with me?" Tom asked. He pitied the poor man who was so unused to Rose's glare. It only took a few weeks before you get immune to it. "She could sit on my lap."

Indigo choked and Rose turned to look at him in surprise. "Yes that would work," the attendant said hastily before helping someone else go down the ride.

"What do you mean she sits on your lap?" Indigo hissed.

"I mean she can sit on my lap, have you gone deaf Indy or just turning into a blob of ear wax?" Tom grinned.

"You better not do something to her!"

"What on earth would I do to a twelve year old girl?" Tom asked looking vaguely confused.

Indigo just silently gave his thanks that Rose hasn't gone through a similar growth spurt that Saffy and Caddy did roughly round this age. He didn't need his best friend feeling his little sister up. Not at all. Sometimes he wondered if this is how Saffy felt about Sarah snogging him. Then he remembered that he could be snogged by thousands of girls and Saffy wouldn't blink an eye. It's a sad day when your older sister is more protective of her best friend than you.

Rose meanwhile was trying to work out why the idea of sitting on Tom's lap in little clothing made her tummy go all funny. But before she could think of an excuse (could it have been something she'd eaten?) she was dragged onto Tom's lap and her eyes widened as she realised how high up she is and how steep the slide is.

"I'll keep you safe, Permanent Rose," Tom murmured in her ear.

They were pushed down and she screamed, her nails digging into Tom's arm as they flew down the slide and landed in the pool with a splash.

PRPRPRPRPRPR

Caddy, Michael and Buttercup were having a lovely time in the baby section playing in the shallow water and the fountains. Occasionally Bill and Eve would take over for Michael and Caddy to enjoy the rides but other than that the day was spent in the baby section.

Eve spent most of it on the slow currents, laying on a rubber ring and allowing herself to drift round and round while she daydreamed.

Bill spent most of his day prowling round the water theme park trying to find his troublesome children and Tom who was trouble on his own. It was moments like this when Bill wished he brought David on this holiday, David was a nice quiet boy who obeyed him and would never make an advances on his daughter no matter what Saffy claimed.

Instead he brought the boy who is going to steal his baby girl one day. What on earth was he thinking?

Speaking of stealing his little guys, he can see some smarmy git flirting with Saffy while obviously leering down her bikini top. Why didn't he insist on buying the swimsuits for the girls?

He marched up to them and put a hand on Saffy's shoulder. "Is there a problem with my daughter, sir?" he asked coolly noting that the young man was one of the park's workers.

"No, sir," the man replied.

"Then you have no problem of leaving her so you could attend to your work duties, do you?"

"Not at all, sir," the man replied leaving hastily.

"How could you?" Saffy cried out furious. "Can't I have a conversation with someone other than a Casson?"

"Not men like that who take advantage of little girls," Bill snapped.

"He was not taking advantage of me and I'm hardly a little girl, Bill!" Saffy shouted. "And what the hell do you mean daughter? I'm not your daughter!"

"I think a paternity test would prove otherwise, Saffron," Bill said feeling his insides die. His daughter didn't think he was her father?

"Face it, you're not a Dad because you've never been there for any of us," Saffy hissed. "It took the threat of Rose telling us that made you confess you're my father and before that you were arrogant and horrible about how we lived. You didn't live with us so you can't criticise! You can't make judgement on what Indigo enjoys doing or who I, Caddy and Rose like. You left and Caddy found Michael while Rose found Tom. Get over it. Be the man of the house and make things more controlled but don't expect us to want you act like the greatest dad in the world. None of us want you to start fathering, it's too late!"

Saffy then whirled round and stormed off towards the girl's bathroom, her phone already out of her bag that she had yet to put somewhere and a rapid long rant was being tapped out to Sarah.

Bill immediately went to one of the stores and brought a beer. He remembered the days when Saffy used to run out and greet him with a hug. When she used to cry because he was leaving again and he would pick her up and twirl her in the air and she would giggle. He remembered the days when Caddy said he was the most important man in her life and the days when Indigo looked happy when he was around. Rose is going to stop calling him Daddy soon...she'll start to resent him more and more each day.

Why on earth did he ever go to London?

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

By the end of the day they had their wristbands scanned for Bill to pay. He took one look at the bill and gulped. Despite his warnings everyone had at least five ice creams, several drinks and snacks scattered through the day. Saffy had the longest bill and he imagined she did that on purpose after their little...discussion.

Sighing, he pulled out his credit card and decided he'll deal with it around Christmas and the children can all get coal for all he cared.

"Eve Darling," he said as he tapped in his pin number. "How do you feel about a coal fire during Christmas?"

"Oh, darling, darling, not in this heat," Eve moaned falling asleep right on her feet.


	8. Chapter 8

Dinner was a quiet affair for the Cassons as the tension between Saffy and Bill was very obvious. They all went straight to bed afterwards and went to sleep pretty quickly before being woken up early once more by Bill. This time there was less swearing, hitting and kicking since the family felt more rested than the day before.

The trip was not liked. The boat was boring, they were sailing out in the sea with nothing to do and Saffy was still glaring at Bill making it very awkward for the rest of the family.

However it picked up slightly when they were allowed to jump off the boat and swim. Michael and Tom were competing against one another over who can do the best dive with Rose scoring them.

"It's not fair, Rosie Pose," Michael whined. "You keep giving Tom the best score."

"It's because I'm better than you," Tom said smugly as he swam lazily on his back.

"More like because Rose is biased," Michael muttered darkly.

"Tom is the best," Rose said simply from her position on the boat. "But you are very good at diving too Michael," she added.

"Thanks Rose," Michael said.

"Indigo! Indigo Blue!" Tom shouted at Indigo who was looking rather nervous about jumping into the ocean blindly. "Jump in! Come on Indy, I'll catch you!" Indigo flashed him a weak grin, Tom had more confidence than Bill, Sarah and the three Casson sisters put together, of course he would think he'll catch Indigo. He'd never think otherwise because to do so would cause self-doubt. While Indigo trusted Tom he didn't trust him that much to make the jump. "Oh come on Indy!"

"Just jump before I push you in," Saffy said rudely. "His shouting is getting on my nerves."

With the choice being drowning or Saffy's anger it became very clear which one Indigo had to choose.

Drowning.

He quickly took a leap off the boat and was very thankful when Tom caught him. Even if they did go under water for a few moments.

"Thanks," Indigo said coughing.

"No problem," Tom grinned. "Saffy is scary as hell; I'd jump off a mountain to escape her."

Bill, who had been watching all of this carefully (just in case his children do something stupid and actually drown), turned to his wife. "Eve Darling," he said.

"Yes, Bill Darling," Eve hummed as she drew.

"You don't think that Tom might...well...fancy our Indigo, do you?"

Eve looked at him pityingly as if she was looking at a very stupid animal that needed all her love and attention because without it he won't have one chance at survival. Saffy and Caddy began to snigger which was unusual for Caddy who was generally a very nice person unlike her sisters.

"Oh Darling!" Eve sighed. "Even the postman knows that there's only one person for Tom and that's our Rose. Tom has nothing but the most brotherly affection for our Indy and Indigo is far too much in love with Sarah to ever think about Tom like that. Also, what on earth made you think Rose would ever let Tom love Indigo more than her?"

"I think Bill just suffers with denial, he doesn't want his little girl to be taken so he prefers to have Tom fancy his son," Saffy said shooting Bill dark angry looks.

She still hadn't forgiven him from stopping that flirting worker.

"Oh Bill!" Eve said shaking her head. "You can't be so hypocritical, we ran off together when I was barely seventeen."

Saffy snorted. "What a surprise," she said sarcastically, "Bill being hypocritical."

It was a long day and everyone was glad to have a sleep once they got back. While Tom hummed a song in his sleep, Indigo slept like the dead and Rose was curled up in a tight ball with the smallest wistful smile on her face, Saffy sat out on the balcony texting Sarah.

_Bill has hopes for Tom turning gay for Indy, watch out. Still mad at him for ruining my holiday fun, had no right to act like a father to me. All bitten, sweaty, sunburnt, and smelly. Holiday from hell, missing you and wishing you are here. S xxx _


	9. Chapter 9

The next couple days had been quiet at Casson standard. They spent one day at the swimming pool and the next at the beach as Bill pushed forward the next day trip a few days later. The only bad things that happened in the past two days was everyone getting bitten and Caddy getting drunk twice over.

Oh, and then there was the karaoke incident. Something Bill, Rose, Tom, Indigo, and Michael never want to remember let alone talk about in case their eardrums will implode.

On their sixth night of the ten day holiday Caddy dragged everyone to a 'sweet little bar' after dinner that held karaoke competitions. The winner wins a free night of bowling (something they could all do tomorrow apparently). While Bill was up for having a drink and watching his children have fun, he out right refused to sing. Strangely enough Tom agreed with him.

"After all," Tom said rather arrogantly, "it's not real music, is it darling?"

Saffy, Indigo, Rose, and Michael snorted and Bill felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He really wished he took David instead of Tom, David would never mock him. David was nice...now if only Saffy would date David or better yet Rose eliminating any possible idea of Tom being in the family.

Caddy, Eve, Saffy entered their names under 'Casson Girls' and spent five minutes trying their hardest to convince Rose to get up with them.

"I don't sing," Rose said stubbornly, "that's Tom's job."

"Oh come on Rose this isn't the nineteenth century," Saffy said disgusted.

"I know it isn't but I still don't want to sing."

"Tough, you're singing because it's the _Casson Girls_ not Caddy, Eve and I," Saffy said. The karaoke guy said their names in his thick Greek accent and Saffy smirked. "Come along Rosie Pose," she said dragging Rose out of her chair.

Rose, however, pulled away when Saffy's grip on her loosened and she ran off as Saffy, Caddy and Eve were busy getting their microphones. Rose then sat under the table between Indigo and Tom to hide from her sisters and mother.

The music started up and Bill cringed slightly as he recognised the tune to be Lady Gaga. While he's an artist and can understand the need to express oneself, he really didn't understand the meat dress...or well anything Gaga wore.

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!_

_Caught in a bad romance. _

As the song continued it became obvious to everyone in the bar how dreadful, out of tune, no tone, no pitch, Caddy, Eve and Saffy were at singing. Bill's smile got more and more fake as the song continued. Tom pretended not to know them, Michael had taken Buttercup outside to calm him down, Indigo put his headphones on and Rose was just glad she had taken to hiding under the table.

It was a very long five minutes.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

"I don't care what you think about my singing," Saffy snapped, "we still won the competition."

"Only because you kept entering and didn't let anyone else sing!" Tom argued. "Your singing was so dreadful that Jedward could do better!"

"Now that's too mean," Rose said looking up from her sketchpad. "Saffy can never be as annoying as Jedward."

"True but her singing is just as bad as theirs," Tom shuddered. "What on earth was X-Factor thinking? Last time I'll ever watch British talent shows."

"My singing was not that bad!" Saffy said feeling rather insulted. Her and Sarah started a strike and refused to watch X-Factor until those dreadful horrible twins were voted off. She could not have been that bad! "You're just picky."

"Saffy, I need to have several drinks to forget that or I'll have nightmares."

"I'm afraid I can't condone underage drinking but will this do instead?" Michael asked amused as he held up several boxes of pizza hut. Once again Bill had taken them to a crap restaurant where they had barely eaten. It was a relief to see real food. "I got all the pepperoni and cheese pizzas you could desire. And don't worry Rosie Pose none of them have olives on them."

"I love you, marry me instead of Caddy," Rose said blissfully as she opened a box and took a big bite out of her slice of pizza.

"What about me Permanent Rose?" Tom pouted.

"Oh," Rose said with her mouth full, "you can be my slave."

Tom bowed to her. "Whatever you wish Mistress," he said before stealing a slice of pizza.

"I wish for you to stay in England forever and ever," Rose said.

"Your wish is my command," Tom said though he knew he could never really stay in England forever. He had to go home before September and then it'll be a long time before he can see Rose again. "Consider me forever sleeping on Indigo's floor."

"Great," Indigo muttered. "Make my bedroom even smaller why don't you?"

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Saffy, Indigo, Tom and Rose were woken up far too early in the morning by Bill banging on their door.

"Come on!" he shouted. "We only got two hours before we go to Rhodes!"

"We are in Rhodes!" Rose shouted through the door while Indigo groaned and buried his head into his pillow, Saffy was muttering very rude things and Tom held up a finger at the door for some strange reason.

"Rhodes as in the capital not the island!" Bill shouted.

"What's the difference, you asshole?" Tom grumbled.

"Besides you don't want to miss out on the shopping!"

It was like a magic word, within a second Saffy was out of bed and headed to the bathroom. "We'll be down in half an hour," she promised.

Tom and Indigo groaned. They really wanted to sleep more. Rose meanwhile wondered if there was more pizza left.


	10. Chapter 10

Rhodes Town looked every bit of a crumbling ancient town.

The sun was up high and the Cassons stood on a crowded pavement staring at the strange mix of concrete modern buildings and old worn out stone of ancient buildings from centuries ago. It was hotter than any other day, probably because they were surrounded by thousands of other people and had cars driving past quickly adding fumes to the air.

"Now, remember," Bill said as they crossed the road hurriedly, "stay together!"

However the moment these words left Bill's mouth the family parted into different groups and went in different directions.

Bill really felt the need to bash his head against something hard. Do they ever listen? With a loud groan Bill searched for Eve (who was very easy to find since she was just five minutes ahead of him looking at seashell paintings) and together they found Caddy and Michael buying beautifully designed umbrellas for Christmas ("At least I'll never be wet in January," Bill muttered though he didn't exactly approve of the extravagant idea. Especially since Rose and Eve will lose their umbrellas within a day). The five of them (Buttercup was dozing in his pushchair) found Saffy already carrying about five different bags of shopping and eyeing up an expensive designer dress. It was difficult to find Indigo and Tom since they had gone into the medieval part of the town but after buying what felt like a hundred different King Arthur things Bill managed to drag the two teens out to hunt for Rose.

This, as usual, was proven to be a difficulty.

After over an hour of searching frantically it became obvious...they lost Rose. Again.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Rose was in near tears.

She had followed Indy and Tom to some of the shops but some big tourist crowd pushed her around and she got separated from them (it was too hot to hold hands with either Tom or Indigo so it was very easy to get lost). She went looking at some of the shops but couldn't find them at all. Then she saw a very cool secret tunnel and went exploring while trying to read the large boards with big pictures of knights. She couldn't, it was too hard and half of it was in another language altogether!

So once she got out in the tunnel she realised she had no idea where Indy and Tom are and was completely lost.

On top of that she had blisters forming in between her toes because of her flip flops, and she was really hot to the point she was covered in sweat. She desperately wanted to sit down, have a drink and find Tom.

She let out a little sniffle. She was never going to find them! She was going to be stuck here for the rest of her life while Mummy and Daddy will go back to England and they all live happily without her and Tom will find some American girl...

"Are you all right, little lady?"

She turned to see a fat Greek man smiling down at her. She instantly remembered the missing children photos at the airport. The ones where all of them had been kidnapped on holiday to go into the slave trade industry. Oh please, don't let her be one of those children!

She let out a little sob but looked up determinedly. "I'm lost," she admitted.

"Oh dear, is that why you cry little lady?" she nodded, the Greek man placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched. "Come inside little lady and we'll look after you until your mother and father find you."

Before she could protest – because Mummy and Daddy had always told her not to speak to stranger, so had Sarah, Saffy, Indigo, Michael and Caddy – the Greek man dragged her inside to a lovely cold cafe and sat her down at one of the tables.

"Who is this?" his wife (she knew it because the woman was wearing a matching ring to his) said pointing to Rose.

"Lost girl," the Greek man said.

"Oh dear," his wife said giving Rose an annoying look that Sarah gives her sometimes. "Would you like some ice cream?"

"Yes please!" Rose said smiling a little.

"And a drink?"

"Yes please!"

She spent the next hour eating three ice cream sundaes while drinking some juice while the nice Greek woman stroked her hair and cooed about her pretty she was. Then Michael found her and when she showed him her blisters he gave her piggyback ride back to the family.

"Oh Rose darling!" Eve said looking tearstained as she threw her arms round Rose. "We were so worried!"

"Permanent Rose Casson, what have I told you about wandering off!" Bill hissed looking rather relieved.

"I knew we should have brought you a leash," Saffy scowled.

Indigo sighed and also looked relieved while Caddy clung to Michael sobbing and thanking him for finding Rose. Tom, however, just grinned and pulled out a tissue which he licked and wiped Rose's face with it. She grimaced and tried to pull away.

"You had ice cream all over your mouth," Tom said.

"Yes but that doesn't mean I want your spit round it instead!" Rose snapped.

"She'd much rather have it in her mouth," Saffy muttered.

"Saffron!" Bill hissed.

"Ew, that's even worse Saffy!" Rose said screwing her face up in disgust.

Everyone laughed and forgot immediately about Rose being lost as Bill kept a firm hold on her while they went shopping.

By the time they had finished and were back on the coach to the hotel they were all exhausted. Saffy shopped enough for her and five other people, Bill had been extremely fussy and had to check every price, Eve got lost a few times, and Rose whined until she got her own toy knight model (which she called Lancelot but everyone but Tom knew that meant she called it Tom), on top of that Buttercup caused several scenes when he needed a nappy changed or was just cranky.

"I," Caddy said relaxing in her seat and very glad Eve had taken Buttercup out of her arms, "need a drink."

"Don't we all," Saffy agreed.


	11. Chapter 11

They went bowling for the final night out.

Bill had it all planned out. They would go bowling for the two games they had won, eat out, go to a bar for a while and then bed since they would need to leave the hotel at eleven in the morning.

The bowling had actually been fun – although Bill whined throughout about wearing someone else's shoes and how much sweat there must be, how unhygienic – and Indigo had beaten everyone though –to everyone's surprise – he almost lost to Eve who was just as good.

"Of course I am darling, bowling had been very cheap back in my day and there was a simpler version of it in Paris that I used to play with all my friends," Eve said cheerfully.

Saffy had only been bowling twice – once with Sarah where it ended with them being kicked out and another time with school where she wanted to curl up and die when she tripped up and showed the world her knickers – and therefore wasn't as enthusiastic as the others but was better than Bill who wouldn't stop whinging.

Rose never been bowling before and ended up having Tom show her how to throw the ball. It was really heavy and she could barely keep hold on it and so she had Tom help her throw it each go. Indigo, Michael, Saffy, and Bill were not pleased with the fact that Tom was leaning in very close to Rose and had a hand on her waist as he helped her throw the ball down the lane.

Nor did they like that she threw her arms round Tom's neck and wrapped her legs clumsily round his own legs when she scored her only strike of the night.

In fact first thing Bill and Michael ordered when they got to the restaurant was a stiff drink.

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

After another terrible dinner of Bill's choice the family went to a friendly bar that they'd been to earlier. Bill immediately ordered them all their favourite drinks and they settled down in a friendly conversation about the holiday in general.

For the second round Caddy went to get them herself since her first drink had suspiciously lacked alcohol.

"I'll help you Caddy," Rose said cheerfully following her.

"Oh thank you Rose darling!" Caddy said just as cheerfully as Rose. The barman was a very good looking Greek man with lovely dark eyes and deep tan, Caddy discreetly smiled flirtatiously at him knowing Rose would report anything to Michael if it looked like Caddy was doing more. Honestly just because she's soon to be married it didn't mean she was dead! "Hello darling, I'll have three cokes, a pint of Stella, a glass of gin, a glass of red wine, a jug of Sex on the Beach and what would you like Rosie Pose? Another coke or a juice?"

"Caddy, what is Sex on the Beach? Has it got sand in it?" Rose asked.

"No it's mostly lots of different juices like orange and cranberry," Caddy said leaving out the other ingredients of the cocktail.

"Can I have some?" Rose asked.

Caddy thought about it. She had been nine when she drank the entire bottle of Eve's gin and had to be rushed to hospital, it wasn't a pleasant experience and Bill had done a lot of shouting...but Rose was almost twelve and one glass wouldn't hurt...especially if it built up her immune system and she won't get drunk quickly when she's allowed to drink legally...then no man can ever take advantage of a drunk Rose.

Caddy was a genius!

"Sure but only because we're on holiday and you mustn't tell Daddy, it'll be our little girl secret, yeah?"

"Yeah, I promise I won't tell anyone especially Daddy."

"Even Tom?"

"Even Tom," Rose agreed.

"Ok then, but remember only one glass and it's just because we're on holiday!"

"Ok Caddy!"

As Rose went back to the table with the cokes, Caddy mused as she poured out a glass of Sex on the Beach for Rose...a straw doesn't make you get drunk quicker, does it? In fact it should slow the process right? Caddy can't really remember. Oh well, it'll be more believable that it's a juice if it had a straw in it anyway.

"What's that you're drinking Rose?" Bill asked curiously as Rose happily drank a strange coloured drink through a straw.

"Juice," Rose lied, she wasn't going to tell him she had a beach in her drink he would think she was being ridiculous, which she wasn't!

Besides it was her little secret with Caddy. She doesn't get to have many secrets with Caddy.

PRRRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

As they walked back to the hotel Caddy began to wonder if giving Rose a secret glass of Pina Colada after the Sex on the Beach, and the Woo Woo was such a good idea after all. It wasn't until they started walking that Rose was shown a sign of being drunk.

She was swaying, laughing loudly over nothing, speaking utter nonsense, and was clinging to Tom just to get down one stair because it was 'too high'.

"Rose stop acting so childish!" Bill snapped.

"Oh shut up Daddy!" Rose shouted, slurring the sh. "You're not a real artisssssssssssst like you keep saying! You are..." she swayed and looked uncertain as she tried to find something. "I don't know but it's something awful!"

Bill grabbed Rose by the shoulders and turned her to look at him. Her pupils were dilated and her blue eyes looked drowned out by blackness, her pale face had bright red splotches on her cheeks, and her breath stank of alcohol.

"You're drunk!" he declared.

"Oh no!" Caddy wailed. "It was just three drinks!"

"Caddy!" Saffy, Michael, Indigo and Eve cried out.

"How could you?" Bill demanded as he held Rose still. "She's a little girl; did you not learn anything from the time you got yourself stupidly drunk?"

"The question is which time," Saffy muttered darkly.

Caddy sobbed. "I didn't mean her to get drunk!"

"I only just had Sex on the Beach, Daddy," Rose said loudly causing some passer bys to look scandalised. "It didn't have any sand in it though."

Tom burst out into hysterical laughter but quickly changed it to a very bad cough when Indigo glared at him. Saffy face palmed and muttered something about naive children, Eve struggled to hide her amusement and Michael wondered if it was too late to kidnap Rose and Buttercup and give them a proper upbringing...where one does not accidentally get drunk by adult's carelessness.

"There's nothing we can do but make you sleep it off," Bill said scowling at his eldest daughter. "You'll be in a lot of pain tomorrow, Rosie Pose, hopefully you'll learn from this and not let your eldest sister tempt you into stupid things."

Caddy cringed and lagged behind them shamefully. She knew she was going to get such a telling off when they got back into the hotel. Not just from Daddy and Mummy (because Eve will be ever so disappointed in her) but from Michael too! Oh dear!

Poor Rose, she will have such a horrid hangover tomorrow!

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Rose clung tightly to Tom's arm as he led her back into the bedroom. Indigo and Saffy were directly behind them muttering darkly about Caddy and her stupidity. To be fair, Caddy was only trying to be the cool sibling for once. It's not like she got the chance to do it with her being a mother all the time.

"I love you Daddy!" Rose called out as Bill walked past in a huff. "I love you Mummy! I love you Michael! I love you Indigo, even if you're grumpy in the mornings! And I love you Saffy, even though you're grumpy all the time!" Saffy grumbled darkly. "And I love Caddy! And Buttercup, I love him, though I really should stop calling him Buttercup, Caddy says I should, do you think so Tom?"

Tom grinned. "I think Buttercup would prefer it if we called him Carlos instead."

"And I love Sarah! I wish Sarah was here, and then maybe Saffy would be less grumpy!"

"I am not grumpy!" Saffy snapped.

"Yes you are," Rose said unaware that Indigo was taking her shoes off. "You've been grumpy all the time since I can remember. Indy says you've been grumpy since you found out you were adopted. You shouldn't be we love you just as much!"

Saffy gave Indigo a very dark glare that told him he must sleep with one eye open tonight.

"And I love David! Even though David is very annoying and tries too hard when he shouldn't, I love him a lot."

"Go to sleep Rose," Tom said pushing her towards her bed. Rose staggered for a moment but managed to steady herself by grabbing hold of the bed. She clumsily climbed on it. "Be careful with your drink in the future Permanent Rose," Tom said ruffling her hair.

"But Tom, I haven't finished!" Rose pouted. "I love everyone!"

"I know you keep saying."

"Especially Sarah's Mum's cooking!"

"I'm sure the cooking appreciates your love when you're ending its life with your mouth."

"But I love you the most!" Rose beamed. "I love you more than anyone else in the whole wide world! I will always love you the most. You are the most important person in the world!"

"Same here," Tom managed to say. He was too stunned really to think of anything witty and wonderful. "You're my most important person in the world, and R-"

Rose suddenly collapsed face first on the bed and a little snore interrupted whatever Tom was about to say. Tom laughed and moved Rose so she was sleeping on her side and her head actually on her pillow instead of her little feet.

Indigo and Saffy had slipped outside on the balcony and he quickly took the moment alone to kiss Rose's forehead.

"I love you the most too," he whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

The plane journey back was quiet.

Rose had woken up with a gigantic headache and spent all day glaring at whoever dared to speak louder than a whisper. Indigo had put himself in a medicated sleep so he wouldn't panic over falling out of the sky, while Caddy kept her head down to avoid Saffy's, Michael's, and Bill's glares. Buttercup sensing the tense silence between his relatives stayed silent for majority of the journey back while Eve focused on her drawings for all the wonderful paintings she had planned.

When they landed they found England to be very grey and miserable which matched most of their moods. And just depressed Eve who was already missing the bright deep blue sky of Rhodes.

"Oh it was a lovely, lovely holiday. I do hope we go again soon," Eve said cheerfully.

"Are you kidding Eve?" Saffy yelped. "We ate crappy food, had our rooms flooded, got bitten a million times, sunburnt, had Bill's terrible overprotective father act, lost Rose at least twice and dealt with her being drunk! How on earth was it a _lovely, lovely_ holiday?"

"Oh darling, it was lovely weather, we spent lots of lovely time together, we had fun at that lovely theme park, had lovely fun with bowling, and Rose certainly did enjoy the lovely drinks," Eve said, her eyes filled with mischief and amusement.

"The holiday was great but lugging Indigo around isn't, do you know how much he weighs?" Tom said dragging a sleepy Indigo along.

"You could carry my suitcases filled with all the gifts that Caddy brought," Michael offered.

"I'm sure Indigo weighs less than that," Tom muttered remembering how much Caddy had actually brought while they were shopping in the capital.

"Will you all shut up?" Rose growled. "Urgh, why is the airport so loud?"

Everyone used this as an opportunity to glare at Caddy who cringed.

"Oh Rosie Pose, I am so sorry!" she wailed.

"Shut up!" Rose grunted. "I want to go home," she said to Bill.

"Don't worry darling, the taxi should be waiting for us outside and once we're home you can have a nice lie down and rest your head."

PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR

Most of the Cassons stared at the sight in a mix of horror and surprise. Bill even went as far as letting his jaw drop. The floor was covered in confetti; along the banister a sloppy homemade sign in bright colours said WELCOME HOME CASSONS! It was surrounded by misshapen balloons and streamers.

"Oh...my...god," Saffy muttered.

"How lovely!" Eve declared.

The kitchen door opened with a bang and Sarah hurriedly walked down the hallway and into Saffy's arms. "I missed you all!" she shouted causing Rose to grimace. "It's been so boring without you! Mum has been making me do extra homework, during the summer holidays, can you believe it? And David has been boring me to death about his family reunion, there is only so many times I can hear about his Great Uncle's kilt and what wasn't underneath it."

"Urgh," Tom and Saffy groaned.

"What happened to my boyfriend? He looks all floppy and knocked out cold; you haven't drugged him or anything? Because I like to have Indy lucid and able to snog!"

"Urgh, really Sarah? I don't need to hear this," Saffy said shuddering dramatically.

"Can you be quiet Sarah? I got a horrible headache," Rose said heading for the stairs.

"Sorry Rosie Pose," Sarah whispered. The moment Rose disappeared up the stairs Sarah excitedly turn back to Saffy. "So how was your holiday? Did you meet any cute boys? I see you got a lovely tan, so the weather must have been lovely."

Before Saffy could answer a terrible burning smell hit her nostrils.

"Sarah, your cake is on fire!" David shouted from the kitchen.

Bill groaned. "Why did I give these two a key to the house?" he muttered.

"Could have been worse," Tom said cheerfully as Saffy told Sarah off for cooking again, "you could have taken Sarah on holiday with you and have the hotel set on fire."

"If this holiday has taught me anything," Bill said as he moved into the living room to have a lie down on the sofa, he was too tired to deal with burning kitchens which Michael was handling very well, "it's that no matter where we go the chaos will follow us."

"You Cassons are nothing but chaos, it's what make you all so very charming," Tom said. "So where are we going next year?"

"Nowhere. I'm never going on holiday with any of you again," Bill muttered. "In fact next year I might send Saffy, Indigo, and Rose to summer camps in different parts of the world, and then I might get some peace."

"And then the world will end," Tom said cheerfully. "Face it Bill, the natural order dictates that your family must be completely chaotic to make up for us normal people being so peaceful."

A loud shatter prevented Bill from answering.

"Sorry Daddy!" Caddy wailed. "I will pay for the window to be fixed!"

The natural order will never be disturbed. The Casson family will always cause chaos. Bill will forever be paying for his children's disasters.

Bill whimpered quietly to himself.

Next year he was going on holiday by himself.

**Author's Note: and finally, the end. Sorry this fic has been dragged out so long, I've been very busy doing other things. I must admit I think I lost touch with this fic a bit and exaggerated the character a bit too much. Oh well...please review one last time!**


End file.
